ramble.

"The person you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person."

Chuck Palahniuk

"In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it is impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves. And then, in that very moment when I love them... I destroy them."

Orson Scott Card

"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."

C.S. Lewis

"-You're a monster. 
-Thanks. Does this mean I get a raise?
-No, just a medal the budget isn't inexhaustable." 
Orson Scott Card

"It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more."

J.K. Rowling

"Nobody's perfect. Well there was this one guy, but we killed him..."

Christopher Moore

"In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy choice."

Richard Bach

home

 wood floors and a this tub. yes.

how cute is that sign?!

french doors + that wonderful window. 

maps maps maps.

love this as a wallpaper. 

perfection.

& i love this color scheme.

that is all.

that's all the fantasizing i shall do for the day.

enjoy!

so basically obsessed

so i've felt like death the last 2 days which is more than a bit unfortunate as i've done pretty much nothing as a result. i did go and bake/decorate sugar cookies with the girls from church last night but had to stop talking towards the end of the night because my throat hurt too much. but since i've done nothing but rest the last few days i finally finished eldest (the 2nd book in the eragon series) and started brisngr.  it's taking me more than a lifetime but it's simply amazing to actually have time to read something i enjoy!

& today, since i took a break from reading i was perusing tumblr when i came upon one of the versions of a song from the london cast's spring awakening performance. let me just say holy crap i'd give my left arm to have seen this cast, or the original broadway cast of this play. it's fricking brilliant. here's a few of the videos. it's just super intense and amazing. makes me want to act again and just be away from here. i can't wait till i can runaway to england. 

moritz's suicide

totally fucked - london cast

those you've known - london cast

those you've known - broadway cast

there's a number of youtube videos that break the entire performance (broadway) into like 12 sections so i may just have to watch it but i desperately want to watch the london cast! my little obsession with iwan rheon and all things UK is a little overwhelming i know. gah. that and the london version of much ado about nothing with david tennant, which you can buy/rent online for like 10$, that's a must as well. if only i wasn't so poor. sigh. well i hope you all enjoy these as much as i have! 

mostly nothing.

so today is the last day i'm house sitting and then it's back to my itty bitty apartment downtown to wrap all the christmas presents i procured and send some off to maui. so much wrapping. & so much things to carry up into my apartment. i was sort of liking having a bit more room than my studio provides. but i'll make due, although i'm perhaps considering moving into a bigger apartment next year maybe with cassie but we shall see. it'll all work out the way it's supposed to i'm sure. 

it's strange to me but even though christmas is next weekend it just doesn't feel that way. it's quite sad to not be with family for christmas, getting everything all wonderful for my little bro and hopping between my mother and fathers not in a million layers like i will be if i chose to leave the house xmas day. brr. ice & me are not friends. my shoulder will attest to that. biffed it beautifully at church yesterday. let's just say ouch. thought my shoes had a good deal more traction than i experienced. luckily i didn't break any bones, just a nice little slide that i couldn't catch to land square on my deltoid. real good stuff yknow. 

besides my attempts to obtain as many bruises as possible this holiday season it's been a good break so far. i MAY have found my dress for annie's bachelorette party at forever 21 but haven't decided on it with all the money i just forked out for xmas, and all i need is a wedding gift (i have an idea), the rest of my bridal bingo gift, and shoes for the wedding. that sounds like a lot. huh... well i thought i had more done but oh well. more shopping. think i may want to wait till after christmas though because the malls have been absolutely insane and i only have a select few things i need to get. i'd prefer not to stand in line for hours while last minute moms are getting a truckload of things for their kids christmas.  maybe i need to put on some good christmas music to get in the mood for the fast approaching day, that and a cup of hot cocoa and a good book. sounds lovely actually. especially cause for some reason i've been really craving some time to just sit and breathe, no people just me and my thoughts (scary i know). i really do have quite a lot i plan on reading this break so i guess nows as good a time as any to get started. perhaps i'll spend some of the day at rocket or madeleine's. decisions decisions, never was good at those...

hope the christmas merry-ness is seeping into your households, or will be soon. try frosting some holiday cookies, i've found that's quite entertaining. :)

anyway, here's a lovely image of the Champs Elysées decorated for christmas. my goodness would i love to be spending the winter holidays in Europe again... one day.

perhaps i need a theme for this blog besides the mundane updates of my life. any ideas? 

sleeping through the sunshine

so somehow i managed to sleep from 1am to 4pm today. don't ask how cause i honestly don't know. there was no waking and deciding to return to bed, just slept for 15hrs. i am, to say the least, a bit annoyed. i went to bed in the dark and woke up in the dark. i thought my phone was broken when i saw the time. sigh. oh well. now to decide how to spend my evening. i do need to finish some christmas shopping before next weekend & there are a few movies i'd like to say so maybe i'll do that. we shall see. 

chanelle is making fun of me cause when i said i should eat breakfast she told me it'd technically be an early dinner. that's disturbing. 

on a completely separate note i finished mere christianity by c.s. lewis.  my goodness is that man brilliant & that book is amazing. it took me quite a while to pick it up but i'm very glad i did & i can't wait to read some of his other stuff. honestly even if you aren't religious it's a fantastic book. & i have to say my favorite parts in the book have to be his explanation of dualism & his description of how married love should be. just brilliant. 

anywho, i should feed myself & perhaps attempt to be somewhat productive. 

merry christmas mr. bean

christmas shopping and chardonnay

i am currently sitting on a comfy couch and drinking a much needed glass of wine. it's been one of those days, weeks, years? years. wow. end of another one isn't it. blows my mind a little bit more as the numbers slowly increase. i will soon be watching one of my best friends hit the alter and starting my second semester of nursing school while my best-est friend in the whole world is caring for her second child. and the world keeps turning. makes you feel so small sometimes. (this post may be a bit of a ramble but that's okay, and if you're reading you may want to get used to that cause that's how my mind tends to flow) speaking of how small i've been feeling, not in the sense of depressing insignificance, but more in the pure magnitude of our universe; let's do a little "imagine this". take a city. standing in the streets of this city everything around you seems so important and the only thing bigger than you is the buildings you walk past, not too intimidating (depending on your feelings about buildings), but definitely a large part of your world while you're walking through the streets. now say you move to the top of a hill, and the sun is falling and the lights of the city are coming to life. now this city seems far more beautiful and much larger, or perhaps a great deal tinier, than it was while you were standing in it's streets. you start to appreciate the extent of your little world, not too big, not too small. but then you take a hike, and you reach the top of a mountain and  you begin to realize just how tiny your "city" is and how insignificant it is in comparison to the mountain or the sky or the surrounding landscape. and then there's you. this tiny little creature that, if you were to fall off the mountain would fall as dust rolling off a desk. but i digress, the great part about this feeling is that you can for a moment experience pure power and beauty, i'm not sure about you but it just makes my heart sing. what i guess i'm getting at is that is how my entire life has felt lately. this leveling of everything and this appreciation for just how amazing our world is. even driving up my tiny little hill and seeing the frost and the snow cover the trees, branch by branch, it makes you think. you may feel tiny and small and insignificant, but even the frost is intricately shaped and draped on each branch, imagine how that piece of frost feels? probably pretty big compared to the dust on the ground.

p.s. the song i'm currently listening to, "Ar Dân" by Iwan Rheon (which translates from welsh to "On Fire") is beyond appropriate for the way this post went & i'd love to post a link or even a download but can't seem to figure out how to do so. so i'll leave you with another of his addicting melodies. have a beautiful night all.

how often we forget.

Poignant Proverbs (like poig & nant)

 - Some true gems from my conversations with nelly. -

You know, wizards don’t know everything.

It's like you're playing pokemon and you have the super rod, why catch magikarp when you can catch gyarados?

That's exactly what I was thinking: Pumpkin, Hill, Embossed.

"I want my bridesmaids in a dark gray." - Kelsey
"Really? I want mine in blood red." - Nell

one more to go.

I am mere minutes away from my last final of the semester. 

It's gonna be a good day. 

sporadic

so i go through these periods of time where i completely neglect my blog, then for some reason, looking back, i feel the need to post for a few weeks, perhaps a few days in a row or a month and then i slip away again. i guess that's a testament to my life these days. no room in my brain for anything but pathophysiology and no room in my life for anything but school and all those other little things that tend to characterize life: eating, sleeping, people ect. but, i figure since i spend enough time on the internet doing just about nothing, resorting to facebook for no particular reason even though it's hardly ever interesting. therefore, i'm gonna take a note from my lovely nelly (OWLSOUL) and perhaps start blogging again? i have the next few weeks off from school so i get to actually have some semblance of freedom for a time. so MAYBE i'll keep up with a few posts a week. 

as a rather lame update of my life: finals, house sitting, babysitting, lots of skype sessions with chanelle, runs, cold without snow, nursing skills, money, lack of money, church, reading, sci-fi show addictions ect. 

just about sums it all up. gonna have a dr.who marathon this week after finals (geek i know) & take a second to breathe. 

just for funzies here's one of my favorite comics to brighten your day :)

the goal is to have more interesting things to say once i can take a break from all this ridiclous studying & non-absorption of information. suggestions?

oh & here's some music for your listening pleasure:

(this is iwan rheon  & he's amazing)