nostalgia

A somewhat creepy poem i wrote "October 14, 2007" according to my lovely dated draft in gmail. enjoy, i think..

Wonderland

This place is cool and still.
You slowly slip into
such a welcoming abyss.
Not knowing what lies ahead.
Try not to fear
what is still unknown.

 

 

But is it really unknown?
You are still
in shock, not enough time to fear
what you have got yourself into.
No knowledge of what's ahead,
just simplicity and abyss.

 

 

You try to define this abyss,
for it doesn't feel completely unknown.
There is something ahead
telling you to remain still.
It beckons you into
it. Asks you to embrace the fear

 

 

that comes with fear
itself. That comes with this abyss.
Don't walk, run into
what you still call unknown,
which is by no means still.
Look ahead.

 

 

Try not to think ahead,
but rather in the moment. Fear
is left in that still
beautifully terrifying abyss.
No longer cautious of the unknown.
Fully aware of what this is turning into.

 

 

 

You've fallen into

a fairytale. Wonderland had lain ahead
and it was only mildly unknown.
Realize that you have more to fear
in the return from the abyss.
The sleep that follows, so calm and still.

 

 

Turn into the fear.

Venture ahead and witness the disappearing abyss.
Nothing remains unknown, just nightmarish still.

beats.

So nelly showed me this song and it keeps bouncing around in my head so I thought I'd share. 

& this song I just love cause phil wickham is amazing.

& well when has laura marling not been brilliant?

let me know what you think :) hope you enjoy!

movies and books and such

hello semester 2, goodbye life. here's a list of things i would love to have time for... soon, maybe. until then study study study.

Movies:
Perfect Sense
Midnight in Paris
The Ides of March
Beginners
Moneyball
Comrade
The Artist
The Hunger Games

Books:
The Screwtape Letters
Crazy Love
Dragonfly in Amber
Redeeming Love
The Sermon on the Mount
Inheritance
A Game of Thrones

the carsons.

so for any of you who were wondering, this was annie & spencer's wedding. or at least pieces of it filmed and put together by spencer's youngest brother riley carson. it's beautiful & like i said the wedding was amazing. enjoy!

Spencer & Annie's Wedding from Riley Carson on Vimeo.

exhaustion.

so this break flew by. & i haven't had time to do much of anything regarding updates. so here we go. short and to the point. i start school tomorrow at 8am. annie and spencer's wedding was beyond wonderful and i already miss her and everyone and everything about my little bit of freedom. overwhelmed already but this too shall pass. forgot how to sleep, so that might be a struggle but again i think i'll manage. anywho figured i'd write a short poem since nelly has been bugging me about it for some time and since she is always ever so artistic. gosh do i miss her and home.

'how do you fly?'

sang the blue jay 

'simple' said the dove.

'lift your wings and float away.'

'simple for you' cried the blue jay.

'but how ever do you get so high?'

'isn't it obvious?' the doves reply,

'catch the breeze and touch the sky.'

ramble.

"The person you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person."

Chuck Palahniuk

"In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it is impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves. And then, in that very moment when I love them... I destroy them."

Orson Scott Card

"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."

C.S. Lewis

"-You're a monster. 
-Thanks. Does this mean I get a raise?
-No, just a medal the budget isn't inexhaustable." 
Orson Scott Card

"It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more."

J.K. Rowling

"Nobody's perfect. Well there was this one guy, but we killed him..."

Christopher Moore

"In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy choice."

Richard Bach

home

 wood floors and a this tub. yes.

how cute is that sign?!

french doors + that wonderful window. 

maps maps maps.

love this as a wallpaper. 

perfection.

& i love this color scheme.

that is all.

that's all the fantasizing i shall do for the day.

enjoy!